


Demons On My Sleeve

by jonginous



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, M/M, Mentions of past kidnapping, Rimming, badly written blowjob, mentions of past trauma, some blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2019-01-04 01:24:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12158739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jonginous/pseuds/jonginous
Summary: Jongin avoids touching people at all costs and Kyungsoo can't help but be intrigued by the man he bumped into and knocked down on his first day of lecture.





	Demons On My Sleeve

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InariChi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InariChi/gifts).



> First of all thank you to my recipient for the amazing prompt and I'm so sorry you got stuck with me, this fic was super rushed but I hope you still enjoy it a little bit! Thank you to all the mods for dealing with incompetent me and giving me so many extensions I know I was a pain but I appreciate you all so much! Also thank you to P for being my beta so last minute, you're my savior ;; another thanks to K and Z for listening to me whine at 4am and kicking my butt to get me to keep writing when I hit my road blocks. I hope everyone enjoys this fic :)

Jongin wishes his life was black and white. He wishes that everything would be simple and mundane for him. He wishes that when he first meets someone that he can politely shake their hand, instead of shying away and making up some fake excuse of being germaphobic. 

Sometimes people will catch him off guard and they will reach for his hand without warning and a wave of angst and tragedy will hit him like a ton of bricks. For some people, it will be that time they were bullied in middle school and were beaten to a pulp, then embarrassed in front of the whole student body. For others, it will be screams of torture as the embers of a fire envelop their vision as they make it out of a building fire but their loved one didn't. Jongin is forever cursed to relive a person's most traumatic moment once he touches them. 

When people think of Jongin, they think of this hooded figure darting across campus at their university, dodging people and always choosing to take the long way to class. Jongin prefers it this way, for the long way to certain buildings are always the least populated route when there are hordes of people headed to the same lecture. 

Jongin has his head down and his hood up, thankful that winter is coming soon and he won't have to worry about passing out from being overheated because he's wearing a hoodie in the middle of summer and autumn. He's late for his lecture. He prefers to either be late or extremely early because he won't have to go through the main rush of traffic in trying to file into the lecture hall. 

Today he is choosing to be late, only a few people are hanging around the quad the building is located in, probably loitering around after their last class was over. Not like Jongin cares. Jongin bumps shoulders with someone, too preoccupied with staring down and avoiding the group of boys that look as if they poured out of the nearest frat house. 

"Oh, sorry man, didn't see you there," the boy that bumped in Jongin says, reaching out to steady him. "Hey, are you ok there?"

Jongin is standing there, not looking at the boy, eyes blank and face flushed. 

"Alright...looks like you're okay," the boy says and walks away, whispering "freak" under his breath. 

Jongin hears a gunshot in the distance. He feels himself running towards the source. Except it's not him. It's him but it's not his body, not his life. His lungs are about to burst from running and from hyperventilating. They're on fire as well as his heart when he sees who has been shot. Jongin doesn't recognize the woman lying on the road but yet he does, it's his sister. Searing agony fills him as he stumbles toward the body, a pool of thick dark liquid staining the asphalt. He sees the face of his sister, except he knows he doesn't have any siblings, but he knows that whoever's life he's seeing, this is his sister. 

"No!" He screams, his voice unstable and throat dry.

He drops down to his knees, tender skin scraping the gravel. His hands shakily hover over his sister's body, not knowing if he should touch her or not. The shooter is nowhere to be seen and sirens are wailing in the background. He brings his shaky hands up to cover his face and ball his eyes out. 

When he removes his hands from covering over his eyes, he's standing there on campus again, the boy he bumped into nowhere to be seen. A tear glides down his cheek as he recounts the feelings and vision he was burdened to possess. 

Jongin wipes the tear from his cheek with the sleeve of his hoodie and makes his way to the lecture hall. For him, life moves on. He's unfortunately gotten used to reliving the worst moment of everyone's life. Jongin wishes it would happen less easily, that it would only happen when skin to skin contact happens like those supernatural movies and books of people with special abilities. 

Instead, he takes on people's tragedies simply by brushing shoulders with someone or bumping into them on his way to class. Jongin thinks it has something to do with energy and that chi colliding with each other. 

He quietly slips into the lecture hall, the professor's voice droning on about some calculus theorem he doesn't care about. He plops into his usual seat in the back, the seat everyone silently knows to keep empty for him. Jongin prefers this seat because it's one of those single handicap seats lodged into the back corner of the lecture hall with plenty of room around it. 

No one in the class needs to use it, so he decided to sit there every class, staring down anyone who looked his way so they know to spread the word to everyone that the seat is his. Jongin taps his pen against his notebook, leg shaking almost in rhythm with it. Despite Jongin being used taking on people's tragedies, there are always repercussions after experiencing that much angst in your life. 

Jongin has come up with his own coping mechanisms, telling himself that that's not his life, that he needs to stay emotionally unattached. That's why he's majoring in psychology. He hopes that he can learn everything there is to know about the mind, about why people feel the way they do and how he can self-heal. 

His thoughts are interrupted by the sounds of someone barging through the doors of the lecture hall, nearly thirty minutes late. The whole class goes silent and stares at the back doors where there's a boy panting and holding a crumbled up paper. 

"May I help you?" the professors says, sounding irritated.

"Hi, uh, I switched into this class a couple weeks late and I got lost on my way here and was running around campus trying to find the right building I'm so sorry," the boy with frantic eyes and thick lips pants out. 

The professor quirks his eyebrow and folds his arms over his chest in agitation. "Yeah I'll just uh, I'll find a seat and start taking notes," the boy says and his eyes start skimming the crowd for an open seat. 

He settles for the end seat in the row in front of Jongin, forcing the guy sitting next to the empty seat, to move his backpack from it with a roll of his eyes. 

The rest of the lecture is uneventful and awfully boring, Jongin ends up dozing in and out of sleep. He never bothers to listen in this class because all he needs is a passing grade and his general education requirement will be complete. He has no intention of continuing anything that has to do with this class.

After Jongin's last time of dozing off, he hears backpacks being opened as everyone begins to pack up. He jumps up quickly, not wanting to be caught in the crowd and accidentally touch someone.

Kyungsoo jumps up at the same time, afraid he will be late for his next class since it's on the complete opposite end of the campus. He's looking down at his phone, texting his friend to save him a seat if he gets there first and doesn't realize that someone else has gotten up in haste. 

Kyungsoo slams into Jongin's back and sends the latter toppling to the floor. Kyungsoo trips on the last stair and lands at the top of the stairs, on his stomach. Jongin, in an attempt to catch his fall, grabs onto the edge of the seat, but doesn’t get a firm enough grip and ends up landing flat on his back next to Kyungsoo. 

The familiar sense of losing his grasp on reality overwhelms Jongin again for the second time that day. Jongin wonders for a second if he just straight up blacked out and is reliving one of his own memories. He knows he didn't land that hard though, so his confusion deepens. 

Jongin recognizes the familiar park he used to play at when he first moved to his neighborhood, sees the familiar face of Seungsoo smiling at him, the face that haunted Jongin for years. Suddenly Jongin is waving Seungsoo goodbye and he runs across the park to meet with his friend. Jongin feels nauseous, the friend Seungsoo is meeting with is 9 year old Jongin. 

Jongin lifts his shaky hands and examines the pale skin and chubby little hands that definitely don't belong to him. He suddenly knows exactly who he is and exactly what is going to happen next. He's Seungsoo's younger brother by 2 years, Kyungsoo. He can't believe he didn't recognize him at all when he stumbled into the classroom late. He knows he never played with the little brother when he was younger, but he thought even at the tender age of 9 years old, he would never forget any member of that family's face. 

He suddenly hears screams as he sees two strange men pick up Seungsoo and 9 year old Jongin and throw them in a van, speeding off. He yells and cries, rooted in his spot, panicking. He somehow moves his small 7 year old legs, and runs down the street to his house, bursting through the door, screaming until it felt like his throat was bleeding. He sees Mrs. Do running from the kitchen, looking shaken and worried. 

Jongin doesn't need to relive the rest of the memory to know what happens next. The police are called, they search for weeks to find the missing children. A few weeks later, Jongin is rescued from a run down house on the outskirts of town while he and Seungsoo got separated for a few days. 

He screamed at the police to find Seungsoo too, he's somewhere in the house. The police officer assured him that they will get Seungsoo out and that Jongin needs to get to the paramedics waiting outside right away. They never found Seungsoo in that house. Even weeks after, when the search continued, they never found him. 

Jongin avoided the Do family like the plague after that, believing that they looked at him as someone that shouldn't have been rescued. That if it weren't for him, their Seungsoo could be home. 

"Shit dude, are you ok, I shouldn't have been looking at my phone," Kyungsoo gets up and leans down to offer his hand down to Jongin to help him up. 

They're back in the present time and Jongin is still lying on his back as the students in the lecture just step around him, too busy with their own lives to care that some random student fell on his ass. 

Jongin stares blankly at the ceiling, a tear escaping his eye and rolling down the side of his face and into his hair. "Damn, I'm sorry, did it hurt that badly? Did you sprain something? I'm so sorry" Kyungsoo freaks out as he sees Jongin tearing up. 

Jongin grabs a hold of his senses and pushes himself up off the ground, using the sleeve of his hoodie to wipe the tears from his face. 

Kyungsoo looks at him expectedly, searching for any kind of explanation for the scene the just happened. The silence is thick between them, Jongin reaching back to pull the hood over his head and Kyungsoo shifting from foot to foot. 

Kyungsoo decides to break the silence, "Sorry about that again."

Jongin blinks at Kyungsoo, not knowing what to say to the man whose brother's disappearance is his fault. The man who doesn't even seem to recognize him and is talking to him like he just met him. Maybe it's good that Kyungsoo doesn't recognize him, there won't any pain brought back. 

Jongin clears his throat and walks away, leaving Kyungsoo standing there confused. Kyungsoo is appalled and shocked, he said he was sorry why doesn't this guy know how to accept an apology and realize people are clumsy. 

"Hey!" Jongin hears as he's darting across the quad. He doesn't turn around, he never turns around, his life revolves around avoiding people.

Except today, it seems that it's going to be difficult as he feels a hand grab his shoulder to slow him down. Jongin turns around in defeat, knowing that Kyungsoo will most likely just keep following him if he keeps going. 

"Hey, listen, I know I'm at fault here but don't you think it's kind of rude to ignore someone's apology and then walk away?" Kyungsoo inquires, looking bewildered. 

"I…" Jongin starts, not planning on answering Kyungsoo back but somehow his mouth starting moving on his own. 

"I'm Kai," Jongin finally answers, giving a small awkward wave of his hand. He doesn't know why he felt compelled to give Kyungsoo a name, it's a fake name, but he fears that if he even whispered his real name Kyungsoo would recognize him. 

"Um ok, I guess introducing yourself is one way to accept an apology," Kyungsoo chuckles. "I'm Kyungsoo, if you haven't already figured that out from me barging into the lecture and announcing myself. So, Kai, that's an odd name."

Kyungsoo is chatty. Too chatty for Jongin's liking, but then again, Jongin doesn't ever chat with anyone to begin with. Kyungsoo was right, Kai was an odd name, but Jongin didn't know what else to say when he had 5 seconds to decide. He just picked some random celebrity's name that he came across of on the internet. 

"Yeah, parents were edgy," Jongin gives him a short answer, pulling the hood of his hoodie down over his eyes a little more in case Kyungsoo looked at him too thoroughly and recognized him. 

To Jongin's luck, he didn't have to keep the conversation going on anymore because Kyungsoo said his next class was going to start soon. "I'll see you in class next time?"

Jongin doesn't say anything, giving him a curt nod instead and turning on his heels to rush away before the quad became even more crowded. 

 

The rest of the week consists of avoiding Kyungsoo as much as he can. The day after the incident, he arrives later than usual, knowing his usual seat will be unoccupied. To his horror, someone is sitting there diligently taking notes. He looks to the row in front of his usual spot and he sees Kyungsoo waving him down, taking his backpack off the seat he must have saved for him. 

Jongin decides that lecture isn't worth it today, he can always read the chapter in the textbook to get any information he missed. He hastily makes his way out the lecture hall doors, leaving a confused Kyungsoo behind. 

For the remainder of the week, he makes sure to get there extra early to secure his spot, realizing that getting there later was a terrible strategy. It works out well for him and when the weekend comes he's grateful that he doesn't have to go out so he doesn't have to worry about accidentally bumping into someone. 

Jongin was looking forward to a weekend of staying indoors. He was exhausted. Not only did he have to avoid accidentally bumping into people, but he had to avoid running into a particular person. 

Jongin rummages through his cabinets, cursing under his breath when he realizes he's out of instant noodles. 

"That's okay, I'll just see what’s in the fridge," he reassures himself, hoping to the higher beings that he won't have to make a trip down to the grocery store. 

He yanks open his fridge door and only sees a few slices of pre-sliced cheese and one egg. He shuts the door and lets his forehead bang against the cool surface of the fridge. There goes his relaxing weekend. 

He decides to fry up the egg and shred up the cheese slices to make a mini omelette for now. Jongin usually takes his trips to the grocery store when it's late and there are minimal people in the store. Until then, he decides to lounge around his small studio apartment and catch up on reading in case he might have to unexpectedly skip class because somehow the only open seat is next to Kyungsoo.

The clock reaches 11pm and Jongin decides it's a good enough time to go out now, feeling as if he will pass out if he has to wait any longer to eat. He wiggles his way into his hoodie and heads out the door, grateful that the grocery store is only down the street from him. 

When he arrives, it's nearly empty. There's only the expected drunk man swaying in line at the check-out to buy more booze and the group of teenagers in the snack aisle, filling their youth with junk food. 

Jongin practically flies through the aisles, always getting the same things and knowing exactly where he needs to find them. He reaches for the bag of rice and notices that there's a brand that's different from his regular brand, but it's on sale. In an effort save as much money as possible, he decides to go with the unfamiliar brand; rice is rice. 

As he's about to put it in his basket when someone grabs his arm and says, "I've got you now!"

Startled, Jongin backs up into the shelves and drops his basket, along with the rice. In front of him, he sees Kyungsoo laughing as he still has his arm gently in his grip. 

"Did I scare you?" Kyungsoo asks. 

"Well, yeah," Jongin's responses are still short. He tries to shake Kyungsoo's hand off his arm, feeling uneasy with people touching him after trying to avoid physical contact his whole life. 

"That's what you get for avoiding me all week," Kyungsoo laughs again and bends down to pick up Jongin's dropped basket of groceries. 

Jongin is confused. Why is Kyungsoo acting like they're the most casual friends? He was sure Kyungsoo thought of him as the rudest person he's ever met with how he's acted around him. What's even more confusing is when Kyungsoo finishes picking up his groceries and loops his arm together with his, handing his basket to him after. 

Jongin flinches away, not because he fears he's going to see into Kyungsoo's past, that only happens when he first clashes auras with someone, but because he's worked so hard to avoid him all week and in this moment Kyungsoo is smothering him with a week's worth of the attention he can handle. 

"Sorry," Kyungsoo immediately apologizes, dropping his arm to his side. 

They quietly walk side by side down the aisle, Jongin stealing glances at Kyungsoo and wondering if he really doesn't recognize him. Why else would he be so interested in him? 

Jongin heads to the check-out line and Kyungsoo stops on the way there to pick out a few pastas and sauces off the shelves.

"That's all you're getting?" Jongin asks. He doesn't know why he initiated another conversation with Kyungsoo after trying to avoid him all week. This seems like a step back from all his efforts, but he can't help but wonder who Kyungsoo grew up to be when he just remembers him as the soft little brother of his childhood best friend. 

Kyungsoo looks up at him, pleasantly surprised that Jongin is talking to him. "Yeah, it's easy and cheap. I was never much of a cook and you can't really mess up pasta. Well, you can, but you kind of have to try hard because it's basically just boiling noodles and throwing some sauce on top."

Obviously Kyungsoo grew up to be chatty in every situation. What surprised him was that Kyungsoo can't cook. Whenever Jongin went over to their house when he was younger, Kyungsoo was always eager to help out his parents in the kitchen with what he could at such a young age. 

"What about you? That's all you're buying?" Kyungsoo asks back, looking down at his basket full of basic food supplies.

"Yeah, I, uh, I live alone so I have to budget," Jongin answers, not meeting the other man's eyes.

"Must be tough to live alone, not only for the expenses but it's kind of nice having a roommate sometimes. Don't get me wrong, they can be annoying but it's great to have someone to talk to," Kyungsoo explains.

"I don't really care to talk to or connect with people," Jongin mumbles, but Kyungsoo hears it.  
Kyungsoo nods solemnly, already realizing that Jongin isn't much of a socializer.

"Well, if you ever need someone to talk to, you can always talk to me," Kyungsoo offers, hoping that Jongin will eventually accept his offer of friendship.

Jongin doesn't answer, using the fact that it's his turn to pay for his items to ignore Kyungsoo's proposal. Luckily, the cashier seems tired and ready to go home, not bothering to engage in friendly customer chit chat.

He pays for his items and bags them, heading straight for the door without waiting for Kyungsoo. He decides he can't wait to go home and cook up a meal so he heads across the street to eat the cheap microwavable soup at the convenience store.

Jongin is taking his cup of soup out of the microwave that the store provides when he hears the door ring, indicating someone else has entered the store. He doesn't pay any mind to it, not wanting to make any eye contact with someone and them thinking he's friendly enough to converse with.

He makes his way over to the counter against the windows where he left his bags of groceries, he didn't have to worry about anyone stealing them because no one else was in the store except for the person that walked in a few seconds ago.

Jongin is eating his soup peacefully when he feels a presence next to him.

"Hey Kai, can I sit here?" Jongin turns and sees Kyungsoo smiling at him expectedly.

Jongin gives a long sigh and thinks that if he lets Kyungsoo sit here, it will give him the idea that he wants to be friends with him and Jongin doesn't need friends. "No."

Kyungsoo's smile falters, not expecting that answer at all. "Ok…I'll just sit over here then," Kyungsoo takes his own soup and sits 2 seats away, only one spot away from the spot next to Jongin.

"Why do you keep pushing your friendship on me?" Jongin snaps and immediately feels bad about it. It's his fault why Kyungsoo doesn't have a brother anymore; his brother should have been saved instead of him. He caused his family so much pain and here he is, hurting Kyungsoo again.

"Do you really want to know?" Kyungsoo challenges.

Jongin gulps, fearing that Kyungsoo is going to say he knows who he is and now he's planning on getting revenge on him. He nods anyways.

"At first I just thought you were an ass because I apologized for tripping and knocking you down and then you just ignored me. No matter how good looking you are, I wasn't going to accept you being rude like that. And then seeing how you act around everyone I realized you were just shy. And I think you're cute," Kyungsoo states the last part, nervously turning back towards his soup.

Jongin chokes on his soup. He was not prepared to hear what he just heard. "I…I'm not shy, I just choose to not associate with people. There's a difference," Jongin says.

"Alright, whatever you say," Kyungsoo smirks, enjoying the slight blush he sees adorning Jongin's face.

They both sit in silence after that, enjoying the rest of their cheap soups and watching a group of drunk people stumble down the street together, probably walking home after getting drunk at a bar too early.

"Can I walk you home after this?" Kyungsoo breaks the silence, turning around in his seat to face Jongin.

"No," Jongin answers immediately and looks up at Kyungsoo. He bites his lip, realizing he may have sounded too harsh against someone he owes a lot to. He starts again, "I'll be fine, I just live down the street."

"That good, you should get home quickly then. It's a convenient spot to live and you have your own place, you really scored good with your apartment hunting," Kyungsoo looks amazed.

"I…guess. It's small and kind of run down but it's fine," Jongin says.

"It's not too far from campus either, do you go to campus often? How many classes do you have everyday?" Kyungsoo keeps asking questions.

"Two of the classes I have are everyday and the other two are only twice a week," Jongin doesn't know why he's speaking so comfortably with Kyungsoo when he shuts everyone else out. He figures it might be because he's known Kyungsoo before his ability to see a person's most traumatic moment got worse and took over his life. He also feels guilty. He took Seungsoo away from Kyungsoo, if the police wouldn't have found him and found Seungsoo instead, Kyungsoo would have his brother and his family would have never been in pain.

"That's a nice schedule, too bad we don't have any more classes together," Kyungsoo seems genuinely sad.

"Um-" Jongin isn't sure how to answer that. He can't tell if Kyungsoo was saying that to be friendly or if he was flirting with him.

"Anyways, it's getting late, I should head back now there's a curfew back at the dorms. I don't want to get locked out or anything. See you in class Kai," Kyungsoo laughs and gets up to throw away the container his soup came in. 

They bid each other goodbye and Jongin gets up a few minutes later, grabbing his grocery bags and heading home. He throws the bag in the fridge, telling himself that he will get up in the morning take the stuff that's not meant to be in the fridge out. 

Jongin robotically makes his way to his bed, too tired to get into his pajamas. He passes out in his clothes on top of his blankets, the face of 7 year old Kyungsoo and the look of terror on his face burned in his mind. 

 

By the time Monday comes around, he faces the fact that after opening up a little more to Kyungsoo, the latter will make sure they sit next to each other in class. 

Jongin arrives extra early, but what he sees when he walks in surprises him. Kyungsoo is there as well in his usual seat in the second to last row, waiting for him. They're the only ones in the lecture hall right now, but Jongin expected at least that since they're 30 minutes early to class. 

“Kai!” Kyungsoo shouts and waves when he spots Jongin at the doors of the lecture hall.

Jongin gulps and decides to just suck it up. Kyungsoo hasn’t seemed to recognize him and he doubts he ever will. He figures now is his chance to give into Kyungsoo’s friendship and make him happy somehow after all the years of pain he’s been through. 

He takes the seat next to Kyungsoo and the latter is beaming, excited that he’s finally making progress in getting the other man to open up to him. 

“So, Kai, I was thinking and since I joined the class a few weeks late, I’m super behind. The professor is a cruel man and is already giving a midterm next week, I was hoping you could help me study a little?” Kyungsoo fake cries and turns away to make a dramatic effect, sneaking glances over at Jongin to take in his reaction. 

Jongin is slightly appalled. Is Kyungsoo’s tactic to manipulate him to really act this childish? What happened to the shy, quiet 7 year old he knew from years ago. “Uhh...sure…” Jongin doesn’t have the heart to deny him. 

“Good,” Kyungsoo’s face morphs into that of a happy kid in a matter of half a second. “So should we meet in the library? We have 2 weeks worth of material to cover so I think we should start today.”

“No library,” Jongin answers immediately. There’s way too many people there and when it gets crowded, people sit next to strangers and when people do that, there’s the possibility of bumping elbows with someone. 

“Ok, well we can do it at my apartment,” Kyungsoo offers. “I mean not do it, but we can study.”

Jongin turns away from Kyungsoo, not ready to look him in the eyes after understanding the reason Kyungsoo corrected his sentence. “Um, you have a roommate and there’s a lot of people in dorm areas.”

“You’re right, it might be too loud. How about your place then?” Kyungsoo cocks an eyebrow. 

“Definitely not my place,” Jongin is barely allowing himself to open up to Kyungsoo. So inviting him into his home, a place that’s only his, is like exposing his entire being to him.

“Well where are we supposed to study? In the sewers? Because if Pennywise the clown pops up, I’m going to have to be saving your ass down there,” Kyungsoo’s eyes go wide as his imagination runs wild. 

Jongin snorts, amazed at some of the stuff Kyungsoo comes up with.

“Holy shit,” he hears from Kyungsoo and he automatically panics, looking around the lecture hall to see what caused his exclamation. 

“I finally made you laugh. Kind of,” Jongin looks over at Kyungsoo and sees a smug look on his face. 

“Whatever. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to study at my place, it’s the best option we have right now,” Jongin finally gives in, deciding that it really is the safest option they have. Everywhere else runs the risk of bumping into someone and he’s not ready to have an episode in front of Kyungsoo. He doesn’t think he ever will be. 

 

He tells Kyungsoo the address to his studio apartment, knowing that the polite thing to do is wait for him at a designated spot on campus after they’re both done with their classes for the day so they can head back to his place together but Jongin is so used to racing off campus, he can’t break his habit. 

Kyungsoo is fine with it, not expecting anything extra from him and understanding his personality. Jongin is grateful.

There’s a light knock at the door and Jongin takes a deep breath before swinging the door open to let Kyungsoo in. Kyungsoo is as bright as always. “Hi Kai!” 

“Uh, hi, we can just sit at the table and study I guess,” Jongin motions to the table a few feet away. Everything in his place is a few feet away from each other, being as compact as possible. 

“Cool,” Kyungsoo says as he makes his way to the table and plops down in the seat.

He begins taking his stuff out of his bag and Jongin walks over to his bed where his study materials are, picking them up and moving them to the table where Kyungsoo is patiently waiting for him. 

“So where do you want to start?” Jongin asks, not exactly sure what studying with another person is like. 

“Chapter 1, I basically need the material for the entirety of the whole first 2 weeks,” Kyungsoo looks guilty. 

“Ok well, if we cover over the important stuff of each chapter, 1 chapter a day, you should be alright,” Jongin explains, flipping through the textbook to look over what he should help explain to Kyungsoo. 

He begins to explain what he feels will be on the exam, scooting his textbook over to the middle of them so he can show Kyungsoo where he is and what exactly he’s talking about. Kyungsoo nods diligently and brings his notebook down to his lap to take notes. 

After about 3 hours of going over the material, Jongin coughs and clears his throat, realizing how thirsty he is. He’s never talked this much in his life and his throat feels sore. He’s dreading the rest of the week if he’s going to have to talk this much everyday.

“Do you want any water?” He asks Kyungsoo, trying to remember his manners. 

Kyungsoo denies and says he’s fine, he wasn’t the one doing most of the talking.

“You know, it’s nice, hearing you talk so much, you have such a pleasant voice,” Kyungsoo comments while Jongin is filling up a glass with water from the sink. 

Jongin makes a face and gulps down the whole glass of water, not even bothered by Kyungsoo’s comment when his thirst is taking over his body. 

“I think I’m done for today, my brain is going in overload,” Kyungsoo states as he slams his books closed and dramatically flails himself on top on them. 

Jongin silently agrees, and moves over to the door to open it for Kyungsoo to leave. Kyungsoo lifts himself off the table and looks confused. “Oh...I guess I should leave right away, since we’re done and all.”

Kyungsoo looks like a kicked puppy. Jongin knows Kyungsoo’s plan was to stay and spend time with him but it already took a lot out of him to let someone into his apartment, he needs his space for himself now.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Kai,” Kyungsoo says as he’s walking out the door, putting a smile on his face even though he has the same feeling of rejection hanging on his shoulders.   
Jongin simply nods and shuts the door, hoping that he will have the strength to get through the week. 

 

Everyday it’s the exact same routine. Jongin begins to not mind as much, liking routine and structure in his life. The most they will spice up their routine is Kyungsoo deciding that sitting on the table so much hurts his back so he lies on his stomach on Jongin’s bed, textbook in front of him as he follows Jongin’s explanations. 

Everyday Kyungsoo leaves immediately after they are done with the chapter for the day. The last day is different as Kyungsoo lets his textbook fall to the ground after they are finished and sprawls out on Jongin’s bed, stretching his stiff limbs. 

“Kai, do you have any food to spare for dinner? I haven’t eaten all day,” Kyungsoo casually asks. 

Jongin wants to say no but one look at Kyungsoo’s tired state has him nodding and moving to take out enough instant noodles for 2 out of the cupboard. 

Jongin finds himself giving into Kyungsoo’s requests a lot more recently, he’s not sure if it’s just the guilt that automatically forces him to or he’s actually starting to enjoy Kyungsoo’s friendship. He shakes his head as he pours the noodles into the boiling water, it has to be the guilt, he doesn’t enjoy people and he never will. 

He feels a presence behind him and he looks over his shoulder to find Kyungsoo peering over, watching him make their dinner. “It’s simple, it’s all I had, sorry.”

“No, it’s fine, university students live off instant noodles, it’s our trademark meal,” Kyungsoo says, moving closer to the stove to help him add the flavoring packets to the noodles.

Jongin stirs it in and Kyungsoo grabs a fork to twirl some noodles around to get an early taste. Kyungsoo hums as he lets the flavoring seep into his tastebuds. Instant noodles may be cheap but they are still satisfying. 

“Oh, you have some broth on your chin,” Jongin says and grabs a napkin to wipe it off. 

Before he has the chance to dab the napkin onto Kyungsoo’s chin, Kyungsoo has pushed him into the wall adjacent to his stove. Jongin is shocked, not sure what he did to make Kyungsoo angry enough to push him into the wall. 

“Then lick it off,” Kyungsoo says, voice a few decibels above a whisper. 

Jongin freezes as Kyungsoo moves closer to him and lifts his head up to him so that their faces are merely a few centimeters apart. Jongin is afraid to even breathe, fearing the slightest movement will connect himself to Kyungsoo and all his resolve will crumble. 

Kyungsoo breathes out hot air onto his lips and puts his hands on the wall beside the other man’s head. Jongin nearly melts as he feels Kyungsoo’s breath on his lips, eyes automatically shifting to look at Kyungsoo’s mouth.

Kyungsoo decides he simply can’t wait anymore, he’s been dying to do this since he had to run after the quiet man to accept his apology on the first day that they met. He closes the distance between them experimentally gives small pecks to Jongin’s parted lips. 

The back of Jongin’s head hits against the wall, pushing himself as far back as possible. Kyungsoo sees this and stops, hands coming down to rest at the other man’s hips and looking for any indication of what he’s feeling in his eyes. 

“I overstepped my boundaries, I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo says, hands still on Jongin’s hips. 

“No you didn’t,” Jongin whispers back and leans down to meet Kyungsoo’s mouth with a full kiss. 

Jongin brings up his arms around and drapes them over Kyungsoo’s shoulders, eventually wrapping them around his neck to push his body closer to his own. 

He feels Kyungsoo smiling against his lips and continues to kiss him. Nothing has ever been perfect in Jongin’s life, but the way Kyungsoo’s lips fit so perfectly against his makes him believe perfection is real. 

Kyungsoo is now giving him short pecks all over every inch of his mouth in an attempt for both of them to catch their breath but not stop kissing, the broth from the soup dripping from Kyungsoo’s chin forgotten.

“The noodles!” Jongin shouts suddenly, scaring Kyungsoo and making him giggle a second later. 

“It’s just noodles Kai, they’re ok,” Kyungsoo assures him. 

“I don’t like them to be too soft,” Jongin defends. 

Kyungsoo laughs again and nods, following the other man to the table as he places the pot on the trivet. They talk and eat for what seems like too long of a time to just eat noodles, but for once, Jongin doesn’t mind Kyungsoo overstaying his visit. 

 

 

The exam has passed and Jongin nervously awaits the scores, not to see his own, but to see Kyungsoo’s. He doesn’t want any more guilt on him if he finds out one of the reasons Kyungsoo failed was because of him. 

“I passed!” Kyungsoo scream whispers as class is beginning and the exam scores have just been released. 

Jongin smiles down at him, relief flooding him. All that work and studying was put to good use and Jongin chose the correct things to go over with Kyungsoo.

“My friend and I are going out to celebrate midterms being over, do you want to join us?” Kyungsoo asks, looking nervous.

Jongin goes in defense mode and says no almost before Kyungsoo is done with asking the question. Jongin will not willingly put himself in a situation where he can accidentally make contact with someone and see their past, especially in front of Kyungsoo. 

“That’s ok, we’ll celebrate some other time ourselves?” Kyungsoo offers, understanding Jongin’s answer.

“Sure,” Jongin answers, no emotion in his voice. 

Jongin goes the whole lecture, not acknowledging Kyungsoo and the second it’s over, Jongin darts from his seat, running for the lecture hall doors before the rest of the class can start crowding around the doors to get out.

Jongin feels bad for leaving in such haste without even saying goodbye. Despite how close they’ve gotten, Jongin still feels there’s sides of him he can’t show Kyungsoo just yet. And he hates it. 

 

Jongin hears commotion outside his door a little after one in the morning, heavy footsteps making their way up the stairs but tripping and hitting the wall every other step.   
“What the hell,” Jongin slips out of his bed and runs over to the peephole, seeing that it’s his noisy neighbor, Jongdae. 

He sighs loudly, hearing too many of his drunk antics every weekend. He was just about to hop back on his bed and shove his headphones in his ears in case it’s one of those nights where Jongdae decides to drunk sing until four in the morning, but instead he hears an even more familiar voice in the hallway with Jongdae. 

He presses his face up against the door again to look out of the peephole and he sees Jongdae struggling to lift a drooping Kyungsoo up. Jongin’s eyes widen and he flings open his door, startling Jongdae.

“Hey man, sorry for all the noise, my friend got way too drunk, we’re just trying to survive,” Jongdae immediately jumps into an explanation. 

Kyungsoo lifts his head up, about to add into the apology when he sees his face. “Kai. What,” Kyungsoo looks around the hallway in confusion. 

“You guys know each other? I didn’t know Kyungsoo knew someone that lives here, this is his first time to my place. I didn’t know what dorm room was his and he’s too drunk too tell me so I brought him here. Small world huh, he said your name is Kai?” Jongdae extends his hand in greeting. 

Jongin decides he’s just as chatty, if not more chatty than Kyungsoo. He also decides that he doesn’t like him. 

He moves forward and hoists Kyungsoo up to stand, making sure to keep his distance from Jongdae so he doesn’t accidentally touch him. 

“Wha-” Jongin doesn’t even stay to listen to what Jongdae has to say as he guides a stumbling Kyungsoo into his place and shuts the door behind him with his foot. 

Jongin finishes guiding him to his bed and lets him drop down on there. Kyungsoo snuggles himself into the bed and buries his face into the pillow. Jongin hopes to the higher beings that Kyungsoo doesn’t throw up all over his bed. 

“Omg Kai, it’s so fucking hot I’m dying,” Jongin looks at Kyungsoo’s face as he turns to him and sees his face is bright red, looking like the alcohol has truly taken over his body.  
Jongin makes his way to the bathroom and wets a cloth with cold water, knowing that it won’t make Kyungsoo any less drunk, but it will cool him down a little. He removes the pillow out from under Kyungsoo and gets a groan in return. Jongin tells him it’s karma and moves to sit in the place where the pillow was, bringing Kyungsoo’s head on his lap so he can pat down his red, sweaty face. 

Jongin loves looking at Kyungsoo’s face, he never really got the chance to admire how handsome Kyungsoo is because he was too busy pushing him away and avoiding looking in his direction too long. Now that Kyungsoo is in a groggy states and struggling to keep his eyes open, he feels he is able to look at him as much as he wants without any worries. 

“Why did you drink so much tonight?” Jongin wonders.

“Because you hate me and I like you so much I don’t know what to do anymore,” Kyungsoo confesses, the alcohol not letting him hold anything back.

Jongin is shocked, he knows he’s difficult but with the progress they made, the last thing he expected Kyungsoo to think was that he hated him. 

“I don’t hate you,” Jongin tells him, setting the wet cloth neatly on Kyungsoo’s forehead. 

“You went back to your old self today, you just ignored me all of lecture and then stormed off without saying anything,” Kyungsoo brings his fingers up to pick at the hem of Jongin sleeping shirt. 

“I-” Jongin takes a deep breath, not knowing if he’s ready to reveal this piece of his heart but also not wanting Kyungsoo to ever think that he hates him. “I was jealous. Of a lot of things I guess. I was jealous that someone else can easily spend time with you in public while I have to be a freak of nature and I guess I was a little jealous that you’re going out with other friends and not me.”

Kyungsoo sloppily pushes himself up onto his knees, and holds Jongin’s head so that he can look directly into his eyes. “You’re not a freak and don’t feel jealous. There’s only you, only you that I want. Just don’t,” Kyungsoo tries as hard as he can to seem sober and enunciate his words. 

Kyungsoo is still on his knees and uses the grip he has on Jongin’s head to tilt him up to give him a soft, chaste kiss. Kyungsoo smiles at the other man pouting and tells him he should sleep off the alcohol and that they should talk when he’s sober. 

With this, they both slide under the blankets and this time, Jongin doesn’t protest or feel like running away when Kyungsoo snuggles close to him and tucks his head under his chin. 

 

The morning comes and they wake up with Jongin’s head on Kyungsoo’s chest and arm draped over his stomach. Kyungsoo smiles and tells him he loves the fact that a sleepy him means a cuddly one. 

Jongin flops onto his back, not wanting to admit how comfortable he feels cuddling with Kyungsoo. He closes his eyes, wondering if he can get a few more hours of sleep in, even with Kyungsoo now awake. He figures it’s definitely going to be impossible as he feels Kyungsoo swing one of his legs over his and his body press up against his as he peppers kisses along his jaw. 

Jongin can’t breathe and he feels his body shiver as Kyungsoo makes his way to his collarbone, taking little nips at it as he kisses it so tenderly. Kyungsoo moves his hand to rest it on Jongin stomach, moving it in small circles that makes every hair on his body stand on end. He never thought he would ever enjoy being touched so much.

“Kyungsoo, what are you doing?” Jongin thinks Kyungsoo wasted no time and jumped straight into fondling him.

“I woke up so damn horny and I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it felt kissing you,” Kyungsoo detaches himself and moves down to lick the exposed skin on his hip from his shirt being pushed up by him. “And you kissing me back.”

Jongin bites his lip, mind clouding and throwing all his defenses away. He frantically grabs at Kyungsoo’s hair and tangles his fingers in it, shoving his face into his crotch. Kyungsoo’s breath hitches in shock but he quickly recovers as he hums deeply in approval. 

Jongin keeps pressing Kyungsoo’s face into his crotch as he dry humps against his face, hip movements sporadic. Kyungsoo moves his mouth against the cloth of his pajama bottoms, causing Jongin’s cock to ache and fingers to hold onto Kyungsoo’s strands of hair tighter. 

Kyungsoo cups his hand under his ass and pulls down at the waistband of his bottoms and underwear, exposing most of his ass. Jongin lets his hips fall to the bed and lets go of Kyungsoo’s hair as he pulls down the rest of his pajama bottoms and underwear. 

Jongin’s hard cock, slaps against his stomach and Kyungsoo wastes no time crawling back up and taking his cock into his hands. Kyungsoo looks up at Jongin, eyes sultry and excited as he places a teasing kiss to the head of his cock. 

He shuts his eyes tight, feeling like if he looked Kyungsoo in the eyes anymore while his mouth is anywhere near his cock, he might cum instantly. He wishes he would have kept watching when he yelps in surprise, feeling Kyungsoo’s hot and wet tongue flick over his puckered hole. His stomach clenches as he lets out a groan.

“Fuck,” Jongin whines. Kyungsoo kisses his clenching hole and presses his tongue up against it, letting the taste of the other man send him into a euphoria of his own. 

Kyungsoo flicks his tongue over his hole, deciding to give teasing little licks instead of giving him what he wants. Jongin lifts his legs up so they’re hovering on the sides of Kyungsoo’s head. The small change in position causing Jongin to throw his head back and chant Kyungsoo’s name and he moans uncontrollably. 

Kyungsoo slides his tongue up and licks a stripe up his balls and the rest of the way up his cock before taking him in his mouth completely. Jongin grabs at his blankets and brings up his hands to bite at the bundled up fabric clenched tightly in his fist. Fuck this feels good, he thinks.

Jongin feels as if he should let Kyungsoo touch him way more if he’s going to touch him like this. Kyungsoo is practically moaning himself just listening and watching the wrecked man beneath him. He doesn’t even care if he gets pleasure, he thinks as he bobs his head on Jongin’s cock. The other man’s pleasure is his pleasure. 

Kyungsoo steadies himself as he forces his head down deeper, swallowing down the other man’s cock as far as it will go down his throat before releasing himself, panting. A string of spit connect Kyungsoo’s redden lips to the tip of Jongin’s cock and Jongin’s mouth drools at the sight of this, stomach clenching even tighter. 

Kyungsoo feels the man’s body tense and takes a deep breath before pushing his head as far down as it can do again and flexing his throat muscles as if he’s swallowing. He brings himself back up as he hears the other man scream and keep his mouth attached to his cock so he can swallow the whole load. 

Jongin is left panting and Kyungsoo licks up every drop of cum, not wanting to leave any mess on Jongin or his bed. Jongin is starting to calm down from his high and reaches down to lift his bottoms and underwear back up, and smirking at Kyungsoo, seeing he’s out of breath too. 

Kyungsoo winces as he gets up too fast and holds his head as he rolls over the other man to get out of bed. “You okay?” Jongin asks, concerned. 

“Hungover as fuck,” Kyungsoo laughs it off and tells him that he’s never drinking again. Jongin immediately becomes concerned, forgetting about their lewd act that just happened. 

“I heard that forcing yourself to eat a nice big meal helps the hangover go away faster, we should try to get some food in you,” Jongin gets out of bed after him and runs his fingers through Kyungsoo’s hair, massaging his scalp to help ease the throbbing of his headache. 

Kyungsoo puts his hands on his shoulders and gives him a long kiss, telling him to pick where they should go eat breakfast since he knows the area a little better. 

Jongin panics at the thought of going out in public during the day, especially on a weekend where everyone is out and about. “Uh, I was thinking I could make you breakfast here.”

“Oh! I would love to have you cook for me, what are you going to make?” Kyungsoo follows him and he heads to the fridge to see what he can use to make breakfast. 

Jongin frowns as he scans the whole fridge, realizing that he has one egg left and enough for a half of glass of milk. He bites his lip as he shut the fridge door and looks at Kyungsoo with a look of regret etched onto his face.

“I guess we can go out instead,” Jongin nervously tells Kyungsoo. 

Kyungsoo giggles and tells him it’s okay as he goes to put on his shoes that he managed to kick off sometime last night. “Do you have any places in mind?”

Jongin thinks for a second and remembers that there’s a pancake place by the grocery store he saw Kyungsoo at that one night that they can easily walk to. He tells Kyungsoo and he agrees that it sounds like a good place and that they should head out as soon as he is done getting dressed.

Jongin sticks close to Kyungsoo as they walk there, flinching away every time someone walks by him and they get a little too close. Kyungsoo eyes him every time he does this doesn’t say anything, instead choosing to link arms with him like he did that one night in the grocery store. This time he doesn’t flinch away, grateful for Kyungsoo’s comfort. 

They continue walking, arms still linked. Kyungsoo tightens his arm around his and Jongin looks down at him, nodding to him that it’s okay; that he’s okay with this.   
Jongin is so focused on Kyungsoo that he doesn’t see the family walking down the street, their children running wild around the sidewalk. One of their children tries to run on front of Jongin and Kyungsoo, the father jumping in front of the way to grab the child by the hood of his jacket. The father doesn’t move out of the way in time and accidentally brushes his arm against Jongin’s. 

Jongin flinches away by instinct, knowing that even if he jumps away last minute, the damage has been done. The impact of the memory itself sends him falling to the floor, a panicked Kyungsoo trying to hold him up as his body goes limp. The next thing he sees is his vision going black.

He can see glass shatter in his face and the sickening crunch of metal. He struggles to find purchase on the walls of what he can see now is the inside of the car. The car is spinning out of control and so is his mind. He hears screams coming from beside him, it’s his girlfriend. Except not his girlfriend, he’s not even straight, it’s the person’s girlfriend who he’s reliving the memories of. 

Jongin feels the car suddenly dropping and he looks out what’s left of the windows to see dirt and trees whizzing past him as he’s screaming. Their car had fallen down a cliff and has now hit the bottom. His hands are shaking uncontrollably and he can hardly breathe. He feels blood trickle down his forehead and brings up a shaky hand to wipe it off, staring at the thick substance staining his fingers in shock. 

He looks beside him and bursts into tears calling his girlfriend’s name over and over again. He can hardly reach her, a branch separating them that somehow penetrated his car and is stuck in the middle. She’s unresponsive and when he looks down, he notices one of the branches is caught in her stomach and he immediately knows that she’s gone. He starts screaming and crying in agony and guilt, the sound almost as deafening as the the impact of the crash. 

Jongin looks up and sees the clear blue sky, tears pooling at his eyes and the last of the screams coming out and causing everyone on the sidewalks to come to a stand still. 

Kyungsoo is cupping his face in his hands, rubbing the tears away with his thumbs and his face is white with shock and terror, not understanding what’s wrong with him. 

“We are so sorry,” the man who bumped into him apologizes and shoos his child away so they won’t have to witness Jongin having a break down from the memory. 

Jongin tries to even his breathing, bringing his hand to rest on top of Kyungsoo’s who still has his hand on his cheek. “I’m okay,” he nods up at Kyungsoo. 

Jongin calms himself down quickly and pushes himself up off the ground with the help of Kyungsoo, completely used to being a mess for the first few seconds after reliving a memory and then acting as if nothing happened. 

“I think we should take you home,” Kyungsoo says, worry etched on his face.

“What about your food?” he asks, acting as if he wasn’t on the floor merely 10 seconds ago. 

“Are you kidding me? After what just happened, you need to lie down. It’s almost lunch time anyways we can just order pizza or something,” Kyungsoo says, looking at him as if he’s crazy for worrying about going out to eat still. 

He lets Kyungsoo lead him back to his place, not prepared for all the questions he knows Kyungsoo is going to have. He doesn’t want to have to lie to Kyungsoo, but he also doesn’t want him to know the truth. But he also doesn’t want whatever Kyungsoo and him have going to be built on lies and secrets. His head is spinning from indecision and he doesn’t know if he can take anymore emotional stress today. 

Jongin goes to sit on his bed right away, letting Kyungsoo go to the kitchen to get him a glass of water. He studies Kyungsoo’s face as he comes back with the drink and hands it to him. He knows Kyungsoo has a lot to say, his facial expressions telling him that he has a lot going through his mind.

“What happened back there? It was like you blacked out for a minute and then you started screaming and crying and you weren’t responding. I-” Kyungsoo take a deep breath. “I was scared.”

Jongin puts the glass down on the floor and reaches for Kyungsoo’s hand. This surprises Kyungsoo, the former next being the one to initiate contact. Jongin stares in Kyungsoo’s eyes and thinks back to how Kyungsoo is always so patient and kind with him. Despite all him and his family have been through Kyungsoo is so selfless and loving and Jongin feels like shit because Kyungsoo doesn’t deserve all the lies he’s been telling him. 

“First off, this is going to come off as crazy and out of this world to you but when I touch people, I can see a part of them no one else sees,” Jongin tightens his grip on Kyungsoo’s hand. 

“Okay so… what do you mean exactly?” Kyungsoo asks in confusion. 

“I can see the part of their life that is the most traumatic to them,” Jongin gulps down hard, fiddling with Kyungsoo’s fingers. 

“Like you’re psychic or what?” Kyungsoo asks, genuinely curious. 

“I’m not sure if that’s exactly what it is, but I relive their memory in their shoes; the feelings and emotions and pain, I feel and see it all,” he says, hands shaking and now it’s Kyungsoo’s turn to take his hand into his. 

“It’s okay, calm down,” he starts massaging his hand and putting pressure on his palm. “So what you’re a little different, I mean it’s wild to think I actually know someone with these otherworldly abilities but I’ve always been a believer that there are those kind of people out there.” 

There’s a few minutes of silence, Kyungsoo absentmindedly massaging his hand still, looking deep in thought. 

“Wait, you said it happen when you touch them,” his eyes drop to their hands, connecting skin to skin. “What did you see when you first touched me?” 

Kyungsoo sounds nervous and scared, voice shaking when he asks this as if he knows the answer. Jongin’s eyes are wide as he stares into Kyungsoo’s worried eyes, trying to find the right words to say, dreading this moment his whole life. 

“For goodness sake Kai, tell me,” Kyungsoo’s voice cracks. Jongin’s heart breaks at the pleading tone, knowing Kyungsoo deserves the truth. He owes him the truth for the unconditional kindness he’s shown him. He just hopes that won’t end after this. 

“First I need to tell you that Kai isn’t my real name,” Jongin starts.

“I guessed that already, you never wrote your name on papers next to me in class, it’s an unusual name, like it was a nickname, and you were so secretive when we first met,” Kyungsoo nervously laughs it off. 

Jongin smiles back at Kyungsoo, not surprised that he figured it out, with how smart he is. 

“Well, you should know that my real name is Kim Jongin,” Jongin holds his breath, waiting for Kyungsoo’s reaction. 

“Jongin…” Kyungsoo tests out the name.

Kyungsoo’s eyebrows furrow. “Ok, go on, what did you see when you touched me?”

“Does that name sound familiar to you?” Jongin questions, hoping he wasn’t imagining that slight moment recognition. 

“It strangely does but I can’t th-” Kyungsoo stops mid sentence, eyes widening and hands shooting up to grab at Jongin’s shoulders. 

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo whispers, tears beginning to pool in his eyes. 

Jongin’s throat feels thick, the only thing he can do is nod. Kyungsoo jumps up from his seat and tackles Jongin onto the bed in a hug. 

“Oh my god, nobody heard from you after you were found, my whole family was so worried. We still think about you and worry about you till this day,” Kyungsoo arms are wrapped around Jongin and he’s sobbing into his shoulder.

Jongin pushes them up into a sitting position, Kyungsoo straddling him and sitting comfortably on his lap.

“You and your family don’t hate my guts?” Jongin asks. 

Kyungsoo almost falls off Jongin’s lap in shock. “Are you joking? Why on earth would we hate you?”

“Because if it weren’t for me, your brother would still be here with you. Instead the world gets a freak like me,” Jongin is almost shouting in fervor.

“First of all, I told you before, don’t ever think of yourself as a freak. Second of all, in no way, shape, or form did my family ever blame you for anything. Sure, we were devastated when they didn’t find Seungsoo but we were still thankful they at least found you. You were a child, Jongin. We were children. Nothing we could have done would have changed the outcome,” Kyungsoo runs his fingers through Jongin’s hair and kisses him lightly on the lips. 

Jongin lets out a whine and kisses Kyungsoo back, he will forever be in awe of how unconditionally kind and loving Kyungsoo is. Not just him now, his whole family. “I don’t deserve you Kyungsoo.”

“You’re right, you deserve better but you’re stuck with me, this annoying chatterbox that wouldn’t stop following you around and bothering you,” Kyungsoo laughs.

Jongin can’t help but laugh with him, his fear of never seeing Kyungsoo’s smiling face again after he told him the truth gone. He grabs onto Kyungsoo’s thighs and shifts their bodies until they’re lying face to face on his bed. 

“You know, any normal person would have probably left running and screaming from all the information I found out about you today,” Kyungsoo states as he moves closer nudge Jongin’s nose with his. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t actually. I was fully prepared for that to happen,” Jongin admits. 

“The whole seeing people’s most traumatic moment thing is going to take a while to get used to, I’ll admit that but no matter what I didn’t want to leave you. I wanted you to know that no matter you throw at me, I’m here to stay. I’m here for you,” Kyungsoo says and brings Jongin’s hand up to kiss each of his knuckles. 

Jongin is so happy he could cry. Instead, he settles for rolling over on top of Kyungsoo, propping himself up and kissing every inch of Kyungsoo’s face his lips can cover.


End file.
